Why you should forgive others for your own good
Forgiveness means different things to different people, but one thing we hear often is that forgiving others is important to the healing process. But why? Let's dive in.
Where are we now?
Forgiveness is an active gesture of releasing anger, guilt and resentment, all of which have a huge negative impact on those who harbour such feelings.
In fact, research has shown that forgiveness is linked to better mental health by reducing stress and anxiety, and also lowering physical ailments.
But knowing this doesn’t make forgiveness easy. It is a difficult process that requires our presence and an acceptance that our feelings don’t make up all of who we are. By extension, the action(s) of the person we need to forgive don’t speak for them as a whole person either.
What can you do?
Forgiveness can be decision-based or emotional. The first is a conscious choice to do away with ill-will for the person in question. The latter is harder and takes longer to achieve.
One way is through REACH - Recall the hurt, Empathise with your partner, Altruistic gift, Commit and Hold on to forgiveness.
To move on from suffering towards forgiveness, we need to:
Identify who needs to be forgiven (and for what);
Acknowledge the emotions we feel;
Actively release the negative emotions - seeking advice from a counsellor or joining a support group are two ways to do that.
What’s next?
Forgiving the person who has wronged us is never easy. But it helps to remember that forgiveness is essential to self-healing.
Letting go of grudges also paves the way for overall healthier relationships and improves self-esteem, leading to peace of mind.
As we let go of grudges, we no longer define our lives by how we’ve been hurt, and instead begin to heal. We may even find it in ourselves to be more compassionate and understanding towards others.
Understand how your own health depends on forgiveness of others
Here are the 8 steps to forgiveness we can follow
Here’s a deep dive into why we find it so hard to forgive
